Girl Told by Friends that New Haircut Does Not Make Her Look like Kylie Jenner, Enraged Phonecall to the Salon Ensues

“I thought I had done everything right,” Genny Glassman says. “I thought I had done all the right research, taken the time and care to prevent something like this from happening. But some things you couldn’t foresee even if you had a crystal ball.”

The incident happened around 11 am on Sunday morning. Glassman, an aspiring, creative-type from Brooklyn, had been texting a group of friends before she entered the salon Pulp, on 7th avenue. “Back in the day I would have called them my ‘Top 8,’ like from when Myspace was popular. They were my top 8, in my 5, and 3 of them were my sisters, so I felt particularly safe with them. I must have sent them at least twelve pictures of Kylie from when she had her short hair. Almost everyone had responded to my text. They seemed really enthusiastic about it!” The Imagine Ball Presented By John Terzian & Randall Kaplan Benefiting Imagine LA

“We told her that it was a definitely a ‘maybe,’ that if she liked it, she should get it. We never told her it would look good,” Glassman’s friend Anna tells us.

“One of my friends had even texted me, ‘Kylie Jenner is stupid pretty,” Glassman says. The friend in question, Ms. Christi Hutcheson, clarifies, “Yeah, I told her that KYLIE JENNER is stupid pretty. Genny is beautiful, but she isn’t… I never told her to get it.”

Glassman says that she had mentally been preparing for this haircut for weeks. “I blew up a picture from Kylie’s Instagram and cut the hair part out and took pictures with it. I sought out girls with similar hairstyles on the street and asked them how they style their haircut, if they like it, how often they go in to get it re-cut, if they like it on Kylie Jenner, and if they think it would look good on me.”

She shyly adds, “I even brought my hair cutout with me to work and asked my co-workers if they would enjoy working in the cubicle next to someone with hair like that. They all seemed really excited…though come to think of it, I was also holding a box of cupcakes.”

“Genny takes forever to chose a haircut. She is VERY – maybe overly- cautious when it comes to making any life changes. We just wanted her to get something done, for God’s sake, and stop texting us about it,” Hutcheson explains.

“I clipped some my hair back to create sort of a fake bob and wore it that way FOR MONTHS before I did this. I’m just so disappointed that this haircut did not meet my expectations.”

“She was expecting to look exactly like Kylie Jenner, like exactly Kylie’s face would manifest over Genny’s own. There was no way she was ever going to get what she wanted, because they aren’t the same people,” Anna says.

When asked what she will do now that the cut has been completed, Glassman explains that she is never going to do a long-bob or “lob” again. “I’m just going to go for something less complicated and lower-maintenance. I’ve been looking at a lot of pictures of Emma Watson lately, and I think I’m going try short hair next. That seems like it could look good on anyone.”

“Oh God, she wants a pixie?” Hutcheson laments. “She’ll never be able to pull that off. Her head is too big for that. I need to put a stop to this.”