Girl Discovers The Rifle Paper Company, Gives herself over to becoming a Foof

“I don’t know how it happened,” Genny Glassman says, as she shakily sips water through a Ball mason jar. “I mean, I guess I saw one of their calendars on my tumblr… And maybe I took one too many trips to Anthropology, but now I can’t stop myself. I have calendars, planners, note cards, pens… Even my phone case is Rifle.”Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.04.23 PM

“Their prints are just so happy. I guess that’s what it is. And I like flowers. A lot.”

“I first started out with their, “Famous Queens Throughout History,” calendar. Then I moved on to the occasional notebook. Now I have a pink, blue, and white tassel garland hanging around my room and I keep going into Papersource. My room looks like a damn blog post on A Beautiful Mess. It’s adorable – nay, adorkable – I hate myself for saying that- and completely infuriating. When did this happen to me?”

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.10.39 PM “There isn’t much I can do, in terms of therapy,” Glassman adds. “I’m just running out of money and space to keep all of these trapper keepers. My room has become the most beautifully stocked school supplies closet.”

When asked if her obsession with peppy stationary has manifested itself into other areas of her life, Glassman shakes her head shamefully.

“Yes,” she admits. “I recently signed on to be a Girl Scouts troop leader, I ran in the park for fun, and – I volunteered to read to the elderly. My crafting group can’t understand it, why I’m so cheerful all the time. I can never let them know my shameful secret.”

“I just want to live in a world where I always feel like a girl who takes on life, like it’s a big, colorful, adventure,” she adds. “When I invite people to my home, they think that I must have a twelve-year-old sister in the house. All I want is to color my world in Rifle Paper Colored glasses.”

When I ask she has any plans in the future to further pursue her passions, she answers, “Yes, absolutely.”

“I’m thinking about taking a tour of stationery stores in the US. There’s no formal tour or anything. I just want to be close to the art.”

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.23.43 PMI ask if she can even take the time off of work to take on such a long and detailed endeavor.

“Oh Mrs. Rifle. understands,” Glassman says. “She says, I’m her best employee AND her best costumer! We talk a lot during our company quilting sessions.”

“It’s a strange life,” Glassman admits with a long sigh, as a tear comes to her eye. “Loving stationary and paper goods. But someone’s got to do it. I’m just happy to give myself over to the teachings of The Rifle Paper Company. ‘C’est la Vie!’ ‘Don’t Worry be Happy’ and ‘When Life Gives You Lemons,”… well, you know the rest.”

 

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